Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Davio's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 23rd, 2009
9:53 pm	flaws in oneself I've been doing a lot of thinking about some of my more pronounced social flaws, and ways I deal with people. I was talking with my dad, and I was making the comment, "Yeah, I tired and stressed out, and sometimes don't have the energy to be well mannered and social with people." He commented, "Yeah, I'm not very good at being a human either." Made me think... how much of my social interaction is a mask I put on to deal with others? I mean, we all do it (I think, or I'm more nuts than I thought). But a lot of my patience with others is only possible with a serious exertion of will. I feel that I'm a fairly honorable and compassionate person. However, my actions and empathy is not for others... it's how I choose to live my life and be. I'm not a "good two-shoes" because I don't know the options... I've played with the options, and while there is a certain thrill to the more violent and aggressive lifestyle, it is ultimatley not who I choose to be. However, playing with the "dark side" has left me with an understanding that sometimes violence or hostility, if used properly and with focus, can be a perfectly acceptable form of interaction. I'm definitely not sure if this is a healthy and well adjusted attitude for a social hominid to have. If I really was the compassionate person I feel myself to be mostly, why does it take emotional energy to keep it going? At what point does it become something that's forced? Sure, forced by my own choice, but still an act that needs to be put on, a mask that needs to be donned. Feh. Just way too much thinking, methinks. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Dust Brothers: This is Your Life (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
11:07 am	psa Copy this sentence into your livejournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
11:36 am	Champions! Tonight's game included the mighty battle involving Zombie Thomas Edison with Cyberntic Parts vs Nicholai Tesla's Brain in a Jar with a Bioelectric Body Armor. Gods, I love this game. So do my players. D Current Mood: amused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
7:08 pm	free to good home We're cleaning out some of our stuff. One item is a 19" (I have no idea how they measure this, but that's what it claims) Toshiba color television. Drop me an e-mail at davio@cruzio.com in you want it, free if you take it away. D (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 11th, 2008
10:51 am	firedrill So, this week has been rough. Lots of outages, lots of tearing out my hair (well, I guess what's left), trying to get stuff done at work. Yesterday, I sent out the status report on a punch list I was working on. This morning, I had 4 e-mails in my inbox saying great job. Well, plus Mick's, which was nice was as well. You know, worse week here so far, and still dramatically and heads and shoulders better than my old job. It really makes a difference. It's good having a decent job. Current Mood: content (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 14th, 2007
1:09 pm	( blah blah ) (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 28th, 2007
1:22 am	hostility After getting trashed and watching Conan (something I haven't done, in well, years), I realized something. Maybe I'm not as well healed as I thought. Perhaps I was only scabbed, waiting to be torn open again, and let the pus and the hatred and the belligerence pour out like raw sewage. I want to punch something until my knuckles are raw and bleeding. I haven't felt that much need for realease in so many fucking years. "I am Jack's raging psychosis..." Current Mood: fucked up Current Music: The Pixies: "Where is my mind?" (Comment on this)
Sunday, January 7th, 2007
4:01 am	4 am blues So, yeah, the thing I remember about graveyards... it's too quiet, and I can hear myself. Maybe for many, that would be good. A healthy dose of self-reflection would do the world a huge chunk of good, in my opinion. However, I've done this before, and I know enough that sometimes I think and doubt too much. The "you should haves" and the "you never did do thats" tend to get loud and echoing, bouncing around the empty room. Today's bit of angst was the job, of course, plus going over my credit history. I need to apply to the place, and I can't help but wonder if my bad credit will keep us from getting the home. Can't help but feel I should be further down this path. Maybe if I had focused a bit more, struggled a bit more, I would be doing better. Eh, bad thoughts. I did the best I could, and I fought hard every step of the way. I've survived things that would break other people in twain. We'll make it. Just how much longer of the "struggle futilely now for a better future" I need to do. D Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: Blue Oyster Cult - Astronomy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, January 4th, 2007
2:59 pm	it doesn't take a cape to be heroic linky bits It does my heart good to read of such acts in the world. D (Comment on this)
Friday, December 29th, 2006
3:54 pm	bleh I'm really glad I'm working. But these hours are killing me. The company, hopefully, will take off within a few months. Until then, I'm pretty much back to working security. D Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Friday, December 1st, 2006
7:40 pm	kitty pimpin' Hey, I have someone coming by to look at the kitty tonight! Woot! Here's hoping... I think they'd be a good match, too. D Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 30th, 2006
9:07 pm	More kitty cuteness! I have made a little web page of adorableness (is that even a word?), so as to get more people to look and go "awwww" over the little kitty. Included is a link at the bottom for those who are interested to e-mail us. Kitten! How can you say no to such a sweetie? She'll leap into your lap faster than you can believe, and is very purry and loving. D Current Mood: giddy (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
4:10 am	kitty So, Tina and I are saps. More than that, we are silly saps. There's been a kitten creeping around outside our house for a bit now, very wet, cold, and hungry. She's been meowring very pitifully for the last several days. Finally, we took her in. We set aside the bathroom, with spare food dishes and litter box. She's a little grey and white tabby, around 4 months old. I've talked to our landlady, who says that she thinks the kitty was abandoned, as she's been checking with the neighbors on who the furball could have belonged to. Our cat, Ariel, is *not* happy right now. I've never heard her hiss before in her life, and she's been hissing, and is acting awfully pissed at us. She's even refused tuna, which is something I've never seen before. We can't keep the kitten, we have no room. We can take her to the shelter, but I'm worried that she'll be put to sleep. Anyone out there for a very timid, but good natured little 4 month old kitten? D Current Mood: worried (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
5:55 pm	Oh, and because folks have asked... The text version of my resume... ( Read more... ) (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 4th, 2005
7:15 pm	Okay, change to the journal. This is becoming a "friends only" journal. I have known for some time that there are people I detest who read my journal. I've ignored it up until now. However, I've found that I am hesitating more and more on posting, as I'm starting to feel like many of my thoughts are being soiled and grunged upon. I am sorry for this, but this is my journal, and mine to play with. If you want to be added, add me and I'll probably add you back. OR, you can post a comment here, and I'll add you that way. I've met many cool people in LJ; I hate to do this, but things have gotten icky. Davio Current Mood: annoyed (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 1st, 2005
11:20 am	heya Box-ing types I'm working in Santa Cruz till evening, and going out afterwards. Tina wants to go, but she'll be in San Jose. Is there anyone going out tonight that can give her a lift? If so, that'd be keen. D (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 31st, 2005
8:47 pm	Gods, tired. First day back working the floor. So tired... feet are throbbing and wanting to fall off. Between child locked in car, missing children, multiple shoplifters, medical emergencies, a snatch and grab, and an attempted auto burg out in the lot, I've been running non-stop all day. Yawn. Gods, I want to finish school and get out of this stuff. D Current Mood: exhausted (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 30th, 2005
4:03 pm	it's coming together... Our apartment is coming together step by step. Also, I am now and completely out of Marina. I have absolutely no need to ever, ever deal with Steve ever again. Woot. Firebombing on the 11 o'clock news... Davio Current Mood: nesting Current Music: Tender Sugar - Silent Hill 4 title song (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
11:00 am	alright, phone thingy Anyway, so I cancelled my old phone, and finally got a new one. I kept to the ghetto models, ie "I'm poor, give me the cheapest phone you have". It's not great, but it works as a phone. I know that's rare and exotic in these days of Bluetooth and web browsers and full keyboards on some of the phone. Anyway, the prank calls that were going out to my friends should have stopped by now. I apologize for the inconvenience. D Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Monday, July 25th, 2005
4:19 pm	death thoughts. So, Saturday was kinda sucky (besides the phone thing). My grandfather's really not happy right now. He admitted that he doesn't see a lot of reasons to keep on going. I mentioned my wedding next year, and that I'd be cross with him if he wasn't there. That got a smile out of him at least. He's always been a very independent and self-sufficient sort, so this entire convalescent lifestyle is starting to wear him down very quickly. Yesterday was kind of wierd too. I was walking along the walkway to our house when I saw what I thought at first was a mangled bird. Thinking that it was perhaps that a neighborhood cat had killed it, I continued on. Around half an hour later, I saw that it was still alive. Leaning down, I realized that it was a baby bird, but with truly horrible birth defects. It was trying to pull itself along the sidewalk, but failing as it flailed really badly. It appeared to be suffering horribly, and was dying in great pain. My guess is that the mother had shoved it out of the nest as non-viable, so as to preserve food for the other children. I called Tina over while I got a bag and glove. I scooped the poor thing into the bag, which is when it started to cheep very weakly at me. As there was nothing else we could do, I brought a chunk of rattan (that I use for SCA practice) and quickly ended its misery. Tina said a quiet good bye, and I apologized for what I had to do. I wish there could have been something more than could be done. Young and old, pain is here. Sometimes, death is the only escape. D Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)